I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Randomize
