What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
