it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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