We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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