Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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