He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Randomize
