am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
MIDGETS
????
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
