hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
