Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize