Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
