I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
