Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
