We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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