We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
