Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
This baby is an asshole
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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