Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
worst night to have a conscience
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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