I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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