Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
