dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
