Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
