Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
