Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Acid is not a monday night drug
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
