That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
