11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
it glows. i had to have it.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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