Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I party with great urgency now.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
