is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize