She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
