I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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