Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
