omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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