Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Where is the hickey?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Is this like a preordered booty call?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
