Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
