i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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