"it" just moved
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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