you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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