your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
