my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
