I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize