There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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