I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
