Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
