So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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