Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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