I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I feel great
I just peed on a car
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize