just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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