Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I have peed in a lot of sinks
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
