honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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