only if we run a train.
done.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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