about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
