Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt

(702): View more from Nevada

maybe shoes and water too

(702): View more from Nevada

oh and maybe a noose to hang myself

Fav 8 1187 3068
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(419): View more from Ohio

"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.

Fav 12 1212 2541
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(310): View more from California

Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.

Fav 17 1325 5484
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(330): View more from Ohio

hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.

Fav 9 4701 983
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(614): View more from Ohio

you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.

Fav 24 9762 1464
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(314): View more from Missouri

Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho

Fav 11 4162 1519
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(859): View more from Kentucky

Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic

Fav 1 931 2255
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(515): View more from Iowa

he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.

(1-515): View more from Iowa

and you said he wasn't worth calling.

Fav 17 2185 892
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.

Fav 7 656 400
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