Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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