Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
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