Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
