It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
