You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
