She tied me up with her honor cords...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
