I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
