i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize