Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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