Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize