Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
