Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
