i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
